Bipolar self help tips

Tips:

1. Seek professional help when necessary! Don’t try to “muddle through” on your own. Whether you decide to take medications or not, make sue you have at least one medical practitioner that knows about your condition that you can speak to ehen necessary.

2. Read! Read & read some more! The more you research the particular health problem you have. Whether it be a mental illness or other health problemyou need to know as much as possible about it.

3. Try to find someone willing to talk to you about your problem. You will need someone you can rely on that will not judge you in any way…

If you want more details on how I’ve managed to handle, and keep my Bipolar symptoms under control enough to live without medications etc; let me know, I am working on an idea for an       e-book I am considering making.

Anyone that lives with Bipolar that would be interested in by providing one or more notes or quotes to add to my e-book let me know…

You don’t have to cope with mental health issues alone!

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Another Breakthrough

Don’t like spending time at home alone only with baby…

So I’ve been pretty obsessed for quite a few months with walking to the local plaza either alone, with our baby or going out with my husband.

When we are at home together my husband likes to go online as he still works long hours 6 days a week and he doesn’t get much down time away from my babbling and work…

But whenever we talk about my or our together going out somewhere and our plans get cancelled I either get really irritable or lately I’ve even started crying from disappointment.

Yesterday I was too late to walk to the local library for baby reading sessions first day and I cried for quite a while.

After about half an hour of thinking about why I cried I realised it want just about not getting to go, it was about not getting out into a public place. I seem to not like spending all my time alone with no interaction and I’ve been enjoying my new skill of being able to go out on my own.

(I say on my own as our baby is too young to talk properly other then baby talk, of course I love his company but with no real interaction it only partially distracts me)

It seems that it’s the distraction from my own negative and depressive self talk that I crave escaping… I’ve forgotten how to ignore the negativity or how to do the positive reply self talk I used to do in order to try to keep myself happier.

Will need to look into these theories tomorrow when I’ve had some sleep and will be thinking with more clarity….

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Talk about unfinished projects…

Ok, so I’m back, again!

(Again posting from ipad so apologise for any missed errors etc)

Hehe. I was going so well for while and was starting to enjoy blogging, although it’s a it hard to satisfy my hubbies obsessiveness over keeping my identity private…. He stresses me out about not letting any of his relatives know about my medical condition and how unsafe it is to post online etc…

So I was distracted for quite some time with trying to decide whether to continue blogging or not. I was trying to convince him that I had hardly any visibility online and not having many followers of the blog and needing to vent and to satisfy my need to create something that other people would see.

My other idea is to use my few sewing talents and try to create some type of dress for something like Guinness Book of Records or something like but likely I’d start but not get very far due to depression or my feeling stupid and useless…

Mostly I had feelings of “Meh” what’s the point of my trying to do “Anything” I usually stuff things up anyway. I have now progressed to feelings of “Whatever”… I’m kinda borderline at the moment but have started to feel like I don’t want to sleep which can be like a Warning sign.

Either I’d end up EXTREMELY depressed, irritable or start going hypo which is how I describe my hypomania/mania (which ever I get I’m still unsure).

Alrighty, I’ll try to kick my butt and try to get to sleep, thoughts slightly whirling in my head and head feeling pretty buzzed and fuzzy…..

Art Journal & Craft Therapy

image

I decided that since I have been so obsessed with my Art Journalling to the point that I have neglected my blog, I’d go ahead & do a multiple posting today…

Just to keep this post reasonably short and to the point for once, eh, I try anyhow…) I’m trying to post some of my pages that I’m pretty happy with in my Art Journal…

after much editing, my apologies if multiple copies got sent to anyone! I finally got my gallery set up! Let me know what you think??

I’ll post again later with references on where to find info on Journalling etc…

My New Obsession It’s Positive Effects…

I don’t know about other people suffering from Depression or Bipolar, but once I do find something I am able to enjoy despite my symptoms. If my confused and wired up fast paced brain can handle that activity, I stick to it and become obsessed! My newest Project that I will work on for some time until I get bored and decide to switch to any of my old crafty habits, it’s Art Journalling.

I have yet to get actual references for anyone interested, but I have read that it’s apart of some offered therapy groups including for Mental Health.

I am going to post up a separate page with posts related to craft activities and information on how it helps with therapy or Self Therapy…

Oops! Where was I?

Disappeared from BlogSpace:!

Hi everyone!

Today I like to pretend that I have a huge audience waiting to see what else I have to say!

I’m sorry to have to apologise to anyone that is actually interested in my blog posts for having fallen off the BlogSpace Sphere for a few days. I was stuck looking after my baby a bit more then usual due to his having been ill, and I also got stuck into my craft and art activities for a few days and it was keeping me so happy that I totally forgot about my blog for a while!

I know, shame, shame! Why start something like a blog in the first place if you can’t keep up with it?? Well, all I can say is it’s apart of life unfortunately, and also, apart of Mental Health issues and symptoms…..

Enough of the excuses! I will be posting a new section in my blog about my adventures in Art Journaling, which I have officially started as of approx 4 days ago!

I always thought that my craft and art experiments keep me happier in general, now I can say I am officially convinced it that it definitely helps me cope with my symptoms and to live happier and livelier…

It might not be for everyone, but even just simply collage by sticking pictures down and random colouring, painting across pages still get the creative juices flowing and help keeps negative ideas away by keeping our mind and hands busy with something fun!

I’ll go ahead and post some of the techniques and idea prompts etc that I use and add links to websites/blogs with more information on techniques that I get inspiration from. If anyone reading my posts does anything similar would like to add pics or comments on something they do creatively that helps them relax and de-stress/de-symptom in any way, please do post!

I think I’ve had a breakthrough!!

Thursday’s Journal Draft

(I Drafted this up on Thursday and today I thought, what the heck, I might as well post two today…)

It’s 7:30am Aus Melbourne time on a cold, winter Thursday morning. I’ve only had about 4 hrs sleep and I’ve  spent most of the night trying to ignore my hubby, my negative thoughts and searching frantically for my medium low grade oil pastels…..
(Will input more on that later…)

For what feels like the millionth time this month, my husband has yet again broken my heart with his many complaints that I don’t look after the baby well enough, spend too much time online and not looking after the house and my wifely chores……..

Suddenly while reading more blogs and website information on how to make money from home and online, a thought popped into my head about why I’ve been so unhappy lately.

For the past few weeks my hubby and I have been hashing it out trying to figure out why my symptoms have started up again so strong. My husbands convinced that he looks after me perfectly and that there’s absolutely no reason for me to be depressed. What he still hasn’t gotten into his head is that I’m suffering with and fighting a disease that is simply not curable and that I just have to fight it for the rest of my life.

He still thinks like my Mum, that there should be a simple answer to “fixing” me. He can’t understand or handle why I’m so different from the person he first fell in love with. What he hasn’t accepted yet is that I was on medications when we met and dated. Although I am the same person, my emotions and behaviour won’t be the same again until I’m back on the medications and therapy.

My husband and Mother both think that because I coped fairly well during the time I was off my medications while we had our baby, it means that I’m able to cope completely fine without medications. They see my last year without medications as evidence that I’m not as ill as I keep telling them.

My husband works long shifts, he hasn’t seen me in my depressive, hypomania or mixed emotional states….  All when sees and recognises are my depressive symptoms, he didn’t even see the problem with my chocolate induced hypomania the other night.

I think the normal stress, hormonal and emotional ups and downs of pregnancy and birth hid my continuing symptoms from my husband and Mum. Our marriage has had shocks and troubles from the very beginning, so my husband only has our fun dating time to compare to.

Both our relationship and I have had some emotional knocks and bruises, both my husband and I are only just coming to terms with the fact that nothing in our relationship is what either of us expected….

What’s bothering me mainly at the moment with our relationship, is that because I’m not at a good emotional and mental level, I’m completely unable to know when to let things go. My chaotically busy mind is unable to relax enough to know the difference between  the actual important topics from the crap in life that aught to be left to flush down the toilet or drain pipes….

I’ll let you in more on what I mean by this in my next post, “Letting go, or sticky toffee…”

The Monster is in the house!

It’s one of those days…!

Do forgive any editing errors for the time being, I’m attempting to post directly from the I-Pad, my new best friend!

Ok, so reading and looking at other blogs on WordPress, I’ve decided that so far, my blog needs some more character… So, I’m going to give you some input on my more personal experiences, I guess if I leave out enough exact detail I can still hide my identity like my freakish husband demands! Hehehe

Firstly, my question to anyone interested, is how are able to feel depressed overall and still manage to find humour or be able to smile and even laugh at things?

I started this post thinking about how demotivated and generally in the shiser I feel today, but as you clearly see by my crappy attempt at humour, I must be still somewhere in the top end depressive state. This for me seems to mean that I feel low self esteem and, (well “crap” is the only reasonably nice word I can think of for the emotions and thoughts I have at the moment) and at the same time be able to find some humour in my situation. I guess even sarcastic humour is still humour, either way it lets me get a smile.

This was “supposed” to have been a quick post about my baby’s fighting broncholitis and how I feel about it and how I’m coping with looking after him, but I’ve ended up writing about myself, which brings me to a point I’m planning on writing about in another post…!

<For me Bipolar, or whichever Mental Illness it is I actually am fighting, seems to make me a fairly selfish mother… Or else it brings on more negative thoughts to my mind about myself, which make me think that I’m a bad, selfish mother…??

Right now all I can think of are negative thoughts about myself. I have an almost physical feeling of doom and gloom, I want to hide in a dark corner. This will be a day when I won’t want to talk to anyone at all, all I want to do is eat tons of chocolate in the hope it might lift the dark cloud from above my head head and pray that my thoughts don’t get jumbled up in my mind like a tornado…

Yes, we’ll in fact my thoughts are already pretty chaotic and confused, it’s taken me more then half an hour to add maybe the last two paragraphs to the post….. I’ve had to correct so many spelling and grammar mistakes, not to mention missed words in sentences….

Actually that’s a pretty good description of how I’d the talking about now if forced to communicate with someone……. Mispronounced words, even words missing from sentences….

I think it’s best I shall leave off for another time, as its frustrating and in fact stressful to try to continue…

My definition / interpretation of Bipolar

The different parts of Bipolar:

  • Emotional – Mood swings;
  • Physical – Pain (e.g. headaches). The affect of lack of sleep etc;
  • Mental – Affect on thinking patterns, confusion, etc;

Within each of these categories there are several subcategories that affect a person and how they perceive themselves and the world.

The Emotional parts of Bipolar relate to the way a person “feels”, whether you are happy (e.g. laughing) or are sad (crying).

The Physical parts relate to the “chemical imbalance” within the brain that some medical information suggests is the main cause for Mental Disorders (or Bipolar). It can also relate to other physical symptoms brought on by emotional and or mental suffering such as headaches, stomach ulcers etc.

The Mental parts can be related to the way Bipolar can affect the way a person “thinks” about themselves and about the world, such as “paranoia”.

All of these put together affect the way a person lives on a day to day basis and affects their communication. Communication for me is one of the subcategories within many symptoms of Bipolar. I believe that a person’s communication can also be divided into two categories, communication with themselves and communication with other people.

Communication with yourself can refer to your inner “self talk”, the way you think to yourself about topics in general, or as some people may refer to it as “talking to yourself”. This includes your self talk, such as self criticism or self congratulatory thoughts, being proud of yourself.

Communication with other people can refer to the way in which a person interprets what other people say and do and their own reactions. It includes how a person interacts with other people, for example, paranoid thoughts affect how a person understands what other people say to them.

For me majority of my problems start and end there. It all comes down to how I perceive how people treat me, how I understand what they say to me and how I feel about the world, other people and myself. Whether I am able to see my place in the world, whether I like where I see myself in society and the world.

I need help! I’m not crazy…!

Just because a person needs extra assistance in order to cope with life people or stress, does not mean that they are not “normal”… Even if a person needs temporary hospitalisation, they should still not be defined as being “not normal” or “crazy”.

What is “normal” anyhow…?

If you show signs of symptoms of any mental or personality instability at all that can be defined as “abnormal” for your life circumstance, then you are looked at with stigma and judgement. I have personally been told several times by non-professionals phrases and theories regarding the length of time grief, stress and sadness that was normal according to my life situations.

What does all this mean? It appears in a general sense that society reacts and judges people according to exactly how they talk, walk and react to their life situations and to other people they interact with. If you are seen to act differently then everyone else in society, you are considered “abnormal”.

If you are unlucky enough to have the right emotional and behavioural symptoms for long enough, you might actually be “diagnosed” with a Mental Illness.

God forbid that should happen to anyone…!

Well, it does!

While it’s certainly fortunate for the sufferer that their problem can be diagnosed so they can get the help they need to manage it. It’s the worst thing that can happen to a person socially. Some sufferer’s decide that it’s a relief and they feel they want to let everyone know that there’s a perfectly normal explanation for their behaviour. Only to find that no one else agrees with the theory that the diagnoses therefore the reason for their problems is good or normal…

Letting people know that you are diagnosed with a Mental Illness may feel like you’re reaching out to more people for emotional support. You may feel a sense of relief, until you are hit with the proverbial brick wall of misconception and miscommunication… As soon as you inform anyone that you are diagnosed with a Mental Illness, unless they are themselves a sufferer, they will pretty much shut you out.

There is only a small margin of non-suffering people out there who will genuinely be happy to help people suffering from Mental Illness without being judgemental.

What we need to do is find the small percentage of people that are willing to give us a go at whatever we want to accomplish and not let go! That includes people to help us with anything we are unable to get done on our own, no matter what the reason! If you ask someone for help and they let you know they would only be interested in helping you according to their own judgement what’s the use of asking?

If people only help each other as long only if the requests are not connected to any reason related to emotional weakness or mental illness or symptoms, what will happen to the few of us that are diagnosed?

Are we supposed to just simply disappear or just all stay in the one place so that no “normal” people need to deal with us? I’m still trying to figure out or learn how famous and successful people with mental illnesses become so good at fooling other people into believing in them. How do successful people with mental illness, become successful??

It’s hard finding something to do to earn an income if you’re having trouble finding anything you’re actually good at doing…

If you have a hard time communicating, concentrating, prioritising and delegating, how can you possibly keep a normal stable job working for other people?

This inevitably leads me to a few of my favourite topics. How should we deal with people that react negatively to our diagnosis? How can we find help and support for ourselves if people we know refuse to accept or believe our diagnosis?

If you stick around, I will add my input and research on these topics and a lot more…!